Listening to my new Alkaline Trio record today (is it bad that I only realised the inappropriateness of buying a record called “Maybe I’ll Catch Fire” after I picked it up?) and I started thinking about the concept of the 80/20 rule in relation to pickup lines. The theory, famously used by Chrysler when evaluating the PT Cruiser, is that it is better doing something that 80% of people hate and 20% of people love, than doing something that everyone thinks is just OK. All very reasonable.
I think this has very interesting applications in the area of finding a partner. OK, it might not be 80/20, maybe more like 95/5, but I suggest there’d be value in trying the pickup line “you’re the cutest gravedigger I’ve ever seen” or, alternatively, “your coffin or mine?” on prospective partners. Sure, I’d get my share of strange looks and free nights spent in less than salubrious Police accommodation, but that one girl who did actually respond would surely be a keeper! Much better than trying “did heaven lose an angel” or something equally spew-worthy.
This is, of course, all rather academic because I’d never try it. And it wouldn’t work if I did anyway, the message is often only as good as the messenger. But I want someone to try this and get back to me. Maybe write a book about your experiences with it and cut me in on the profits.
I understand that no one watches the videos I put up here, which is probably fair enough, but I don’t particularly care. The less talented among us strongly favour self expression by appropriating the efforts of others. To that end, here’s a video for all my OZVR4 visitors – particularly those fond of (or opposed to) my work in the political thread.
While not everything he did was as amazing as people make out, Mr Lennon should be very proud of this little couplet:
And you think you’re so clever and classless and free
But you’re still fucking peasants as far as I can see